Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Menyusahkan Orang


*Nak mengomel dan memuhasabah diri seketika.-(walaupun tiada yang akan baca)*

masuk hari ini genaplah hampir 8 bulan aku kerja di PROTON Shah Alam sebagai
Exec Manufacturing Solution, GICT.

Being an IT person in Manufacturing Solution is exposed to direct  and continous user demand.
Manufacturing is a factory enviroment where things moves fast and high in risk.
every decision making is crucial where by it involve the production line.

tapi, setelah hampir 8 bulan, banyak dah perkara dan troubleshooting dah terjadi.
Namun, aku merasakan aku hanya bagai Rafflesia. Tumbuhan parasit.
OTL .. nampak tak mcm orang tengah kecewa?

Ya, tugas ku untuk menjaga sistem IT di production and memastikan kelangsungannya agar production kekal licin dan bergaya.

Dan, acapkali juga, pasti ada error di sana sini.
Error tersebut, sampai kepadaku. Namun, tidak boleh dan tidak dapat aku selesaikan. -.-
OTL OTL OTZ  .. nampak tak yang terakhir tu dia bend kaki dia? aku sangat frust.

hurm. hurm.
bagi aku 8 bulan bukanlah masa yang pendek. Panjang. Aku pun tidak selalu memohon tinggal (aka cuti) . hurm
kenapa kah aku tidak boleh lagi  untuk selesaikannya?
hurm..bukan apa.. menyusahkan orang lain sebab error tu, pasti kena solvekan.
dan aku tak mampu lagi!
last2 mesti senior aku yang kena solvekan...................................
hurm. dah banyak menyusahkan mereka.
"Tolong lah ainun...... bare in mind....learn from mistake.........................why you never learn???"

"Ya Allah..aku pohon kecergasan akal dan wisdom yang tinggi.."

bila la nak jadi Orkid......................

Best Regards,

Sunday, April 15, 2012


im at pusat komersial section 7 right now, feeling the tense of Hazie studying for her test tomorrow.
The fell down of calculator broke the silent occasionally.
Its the third time already.
(showing protest for a new and larger, bigger study table?)

I will start a new beginning as an Executive of GICT PROTON this monday , 16 April 2012.
finally the moment of destined destiny which need to be fulfill after much awaited 3.5 years, arrives.

I don't know what to expect.
more responsible. Out of comfort zone.
more real life challenges.
i guess.

just have to wait and see.

what it feels like to upgrade you're status from student to working?
no longer need to put -"Student" at the occupation section.

now, Executive of GICT at PROTON HOLDINGS.



i will go to work, send off to work by my brother early in the morning and fetch off by him, or others on tuesday and thursday.

earning my own salary.
which i have plenty of plan on how to spend it.

"will i still be in my confort zone?"- is that what i worried about?
maybe what is Practical Training is all about...

I've been doing lots of thinking.
bout my place to at hazie's..but she will be in shah alam until July.
so, i need to get my driving license so very much fast..means before july and a car, hopefully.
i cant leeching of my brother and others, forever. right?

then, on june, I have to think bout moving out coz my rent contract is just until june.

Im thinking of meeting up the friends that have been everywhere in shah alam, subang, PJ..
around selangor.

chatching up.
to keep the feeling of warm friendship.

saidatul jokingly ask me to seek around gorgeous guys..find her a groom.
(your mission is good as done!)

what else?
is there anything i need to think about other than that?
now that im working... i need to think bout.
let put it a rest for a while.
maybe not now.
eventhough im 23 now.


have a lot to think.
feels like writing all the time.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


I scroll at hajar blog today and found this amusing little joke.

" macam na nk bagi nyamuk tak masuk rumah?"
"bawak masuk selipar dalam rumah, nanti nyamuk ingat tadak orang dalam rumah~"

well...its a laughing stock for me.

few days have been tough for me emotionally.
I just don't get in.

I stand my ground that for every mistake that happened,
there must be misconduct or misunderstood from both party.
there are no JUST ONE PARTY have to take all the blame.


people are too attached with emotion.
Just burst with emotion without regarding other emotion than their own.
Lack of EQ I guess.
the way of delivery the emotion affect other people feeling.
make sure the right feeling is achieved and its mutual.

Im complaining actually right now.
i feel its a bit unfair for being yelled at and have to swallow all the anger that have been thrown at you.
Its a bit. urm. unprofessional?

anyway. Its 2nd time from same person.
for the same misunderstanding.
for the same reason.
which i already cleared.
and each time "throwing tantrum" happened, i was left dumb folded and was not given chance to speak up or explain.

"its because "the thrower" hang up after gauging out the anger on me. with bonus and side anger from other thing.

-hang up-

I know this anger is result of underachieve expectation or misinformation.
do react like you just SNAPPED!
why don't you clear up all the misunderstood rather than bursting with anger, yelling than hang up!
(I almost about to SNAP! too.)


you --the thrower
you just lost my respect , trust of emotion control or any kind of trust and professionalism towards you.
I don't react to insult.
only to misunderstood which need to be clear up.


i think this also make me realized,
im lack in follow up and clearing things up.
reflect on your action.. ( muhasabah diri..)


signing off.

p/s: i have to deal with her for the rest of 3.5 years to come.
may patient and virtue and calmness stay by my side.

Sunday, February 12, 2012



recently I found out for not have so much typo is to look at what your typing instead of look at the keyboard.

so. cut to the chase.

So, after.............
2 years at kindergarten.
6 years to standard 1 to 6.
6 years to form 1 to form 5.
1 year in matriculation
3.5 years in university.

sum up to that = 18.5 YEARS spend on education alone.
we didn't realized that, right?

so, if we did, we would not wasted or flunk certain subject on the university on purpose to wasted all the more than 12 years of studying just to get admission to university. right?

what im trying to say is.
we spend so much years to get to certain point, but at that point we decided to fail.

ok. stops here.
welllllllll............................18.5 years is really long!

and now i 'm just lay back at home.
waiting for next point.
an undefined duration.
a 18.5 years of preparation just to apply for a job.
wow. i just realized that.

Sunday, January 29, 2012


As far I know and realized now,
I will graduating soon.
The final exams are over, thesis has been submitted but there still some professional courses need to be taken in order to graduate.

That is why im still in UTM.

At times of late, I always wondering what would I do so that I would not regret leaving UTM.
Few times before the exam week,
I feel kind of sad and a bit teary when thinking that I might not be able to see all the dear friends, lecturers..
having student rush.
girls talks.
evergreen carefree feeling.
Youth spirit rising high.

* Im not sure what actually i will be miss but, not seeing each other not so often, can make me sobbing.

UTM is really far away from my hometown, PENANG.
even when semester break, I usually stay at UTM,
doing some programmes or stuffs..

so, I have been these feeling since exam week.
and I'm having this slow motion of departure with these dear friends because
after having exam, thesis submission, we have professional courses.

I'm taking photos as much as I can and record videos to treasure these last moments.
These last few moments....

Until i realized,
I should stop being sad because we not gonna see each other for a long time.
Yes, indeed, at this time also, I still feel . sad.

I will enjoy these few moments left and with these and other moments have been created in UTM,
I will use it to face the future.

Recently, I watched Nodame and Glee.
They all are basically a bunch of high school academy who share the same passion and care for each other to the max.
And at the end point, the will have to go on their own ways and face the future.

Being a student , always make me in comfort zone.
Don't have to care so much about outside world of politician, insurances, paying house loan, car loans, electricity bills,, phone bills, water bills and other bills.

when you graduated,
you going to step out of that comfort zone,
there are new, huge burden that going to be place on your shoulder.
some a huge, some are not.
But, it makes you feel more RESPONSIBLE.
family income, siblings tuition, own needs.
or, fulfilling family's request to further.
or, other options.

EITHER WAY, the road ahead going to be tougher, more thorns with some jewels hidden.
I wish by creating our moments together here,
we'll able to make the journey to that road.

and I'm not going to be sad anymore.
I will enjoy it while I can.
and when the time to depart comes,
Lets be thankful that our fate have tied us for almost 4 years and,
Lets lift a new courage spirit to support each other to go through the road ahead.

p/s: its OK to cry if its joy. Recently into "Say a little Prayer for You"- Glee Version.

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,

And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you.
I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,

I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time

And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart.