AKU BUKAN APA...~

ENTRY DATE : 8 MARCH 2011


hurm.

setelah lama tak update blog.

diari sendiri pun tak tulis dah.

sibuk kah?

* oh~ sibuk dunia yang tak pernah habis......................

Duduk di tanjung malim ni..

aku rasa banyak kelebihannya..

tempat ini..luas..tenang..

punya banyak kelebihan.

mungkin jika eriyka bersama ku..boleh lagi aku explore lagi apakah ketenangan yang belum tersingkap.

tapi, tak mengapa..

eriyka lebih berguna di sana...

seperti kawasan-kawasan yang biasa ku mastautin..

Pendang, Kedah.. (2 tahun)

Arau, Perlis... (1 tahun)

kini Tanjung Malim, Perak.

sangat berbeza dengan Skudai, Johor ( 3 tahun)

keadaan yang aku sifatkan.. hurm. Tenang. Mungkin.

di mana, jauh dari dunia hiburan.

Karaoke...shoppping....keluar malam..dan teman-teman ronggeng.

Ronggeng sekali sekala tak pa lah..~ =)

Cuma..

kurang interaksi dengan manusia.

Bila duduk sini..boleh kira berapa patah perkataan yang dituturkan..

Sepotong ayat dari buku yang aku baca,Diam itu Emas nukilan Abd Rahman Abd Majed

Terbitan Darul Nu'man.

Luqman Al Hakim berkata" bijaksana dalam mengeluarkan perkataan, tetapi sedikit sekali yang sanggup melaksanakannya.Menjaga lidah dengan diam adalah lebih selamat daripada memilih perkataan yang akan diucapkan"

Rasuluulah S.A.W pernah bersabda..

Barangsiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan HAri Akhirat, hendaklah berkata benar atau diam.

( riwayat Bukhari)

Manakala Imam Ali RA berkata..

"sedikit bicara adalah sebuah hikmah yang besar.Oleh itu, kita hendaklah banyak diam, kerana diam adalah satu ketenangan hidup dan satu faktor yang dapat meringankan dosa."

Bukanlah nak suruh kalian diam ja..orang cakap..RIGID..PASIF..

cuma nak mengingatkan diri dan kalian bahawa kalu tak perlu, tak payah la cakap~

hehe

Benda biasa yang aku pernah dengar adalah, bila orang tak banyak cakap ini, mesti kena ckp..

SOMBONG.

Sebagaimana firman Allah Ayat Al- Israa' Ayat 37

"Dan janganlah engkau berjalan di bumi dengan berlagak sombong, kerana sesungguhnya engkau tidak akan dapat menembusi bumi dan engkau tidak akan dapat menyamai setinggi gunung- ganang"

ha.. jangan lah bersikap sombong..kamu tu bukan boleh dapat tembus bumi pun..apatah lagi nk sama tinggi dengan gunung.

BEING 22 YEARS OLD...

Entry Date : 22 August 2011

22 years old ..
for me..
its not, too grow up or too child.
kind of in the middle.

But, look around you.
You grow up already.
Earn your own money.
stand your own two feet.
And, having more control of your emotion.

KEMALANGAN DAN LAIN-LAIN

Entry date : 25th Sept 2011

Tanggal 27hb Ogos.. bersamaan birthday orang2 tertentu..27 ramadhan ..
aku kemalangan di depan Eastern Hotel ..hughway depan Queensbay Mall tu..7. 30 am ++
odw nak ke jeti.

Anyway.Masuk hospital. Diberi ubat pelali untuk pengsankan aku. doktor mahu betulkan tangan aku. Nak tarik tulang ynag patah tu katanya.

Then, simen tgn kanan. pkul 10 mlm macam tu ble balik umah.
boleh jalan, tapi terinjut-injut, ankle kanan terseliuh. luka +lebam sikit sepanjang kaki kanan.

3 hari lagi nak Aidilfitri. baju belum beli. Pi la shopping raya di BJ. Beli blouse ja. size 48. satgi tangan gedabak ni tak muat. 1st time raya pakai seluar.
Mula-mula susah gak, nak buat semua benda pkai sebelah tgn. nak mkn, nk kupas kulit pisang, makan ayam , buah mata kucing, nak bukak botok deodrant, bedak..
tambah bab pemakaian. hurm.
(ok, move on..)

mujurlah rendang dagingnya kecil-kecil dan ketupat sudah dipotong-potong. cedok masuk pinggan lalu sumbat dlm mulut~ Alhamdulillah.
nikmat Raya masih dapat dirasai...

tgn aku sentiasa dalam keadaan kebas. Aku practice gengam, buka..gengam, buka ja jari-jari aku. sampai dia boleh straight balik.. dan kebas-kebas tu hilang.
8hb sept adalah 1st check up lepas xcident. lama kan? 13 hari kemudian..

Malangya, hasil dari check up tu ckp, tulang aku x join lagi. kena operate. Hurm.
hancur harapan aku nak masuk sem 12hb sept nanti.

"kalu operate, bila baik?"
"bila nk operate?"

asalnya Doktor cakap nak bawak masuk plat.
**haha.. che bee cakap jadi robocop la lepas ni..**
ok. fine.
masuk plat.
so, aku dijadualkan masuk plat pada 13hb sept dan kena masuk hospital 12hb sept.
**orang lain masuk sem, aku masuk hospital.**
13hb, pagi, dalam jam 11 pagi..aku masuk bilik bedah.. dibagi pengsan macam dalam TV tu..
**sikit-sikit mata kau pejam, pejam,,pastu terus gelap dan kau tak sedar pun bila kau pengsan**
sedar-sedar ja,"dik, dik.. operation dah hbis"nurse ckp..
air mata aku automatik mengalir.
sakitnya~ Ya Allah.
aku rasa kesan jahitan pembedahan tu.
aku gigit hujung selimut, tahan sakit.
air mata belum berhenti.
tangan aku bersimen kembali.

kembali ke wad aku.
aku ttdo. . . . . . . .
esok pagi, Doktor buat check up, tengok jari-jari aku boleh gerak ke tak.
Dia cakap x bawak masuk plat, tapi wayar 2K sebab tulang yang patah tu terlalu hancur and distal.
*hancur pulak dah..*
15hb aku dibenarkan pulang. sakit tu mulai kebah setelah di bius banyak painkiller.
3x sehari aku disuntik painkiller dan antibiotik.
tangan kiri aku ada tanda-tanda lebam kesan suntik.
sakit suntik tu, sakit la. tp, tak sakit sgt pun. kecik2 ja.
Dapat MC sampai 29 sept.

Kembali meniti hari-hari dengan berfungsikan 3 stokes- 2 kaki dan satu tangan.
Simen baru ni berat dari yang pertama..
lagi kukuh, keras dan tebal.
mula- mula aku pening duk ampu tgn ni even guna armsling.. tak boleh banyak berjalan..berat.
Lama kelamaan, dah biasa..

Kawan-kawan di UTM bagi information tentang kelas, lecturer, projek, PSMMM~~! =.='
terima kasih semua..
menyebabkan aku tak senang duduk di rumah. mahu kembali pulun belajar dan buat Projek Sarjana Muda aku..
**Dayang nak tengok interfce next week..**
Lebih terharu bila aku luahkn keinginan aku ni kat Anosa, dia cakap..
"balik la cni, meh kitaorang jaga kau."
kalu tangan aku tak bersimen dah lama aku balik..
kehidupan di kolej akan terbantut. kolej lain dari rumah...

Entry: 18 July 2012

Assalamualaikum.

lama sudah tidak menulis.

Ramadhan is just around the corner.

So I wish all Muslims -- HAPPY FASTING AND COLLECT ALL THE GOODNESS~!--

So, back to my life journal.

So yesterday was the aniversary for 3rd month im working, now.

As an executive. IT.

Its been ups and down been a working person.

The environment.

The people.

The attitude.

The right word.

the right tone.

the right answer.

Grasping the right skill.

Be in the right time.

hurm.

its been tough.

so far, no crying. huhu

Emotionally hurt, yes.

"biasala.. hati perempuan. ~"

my workstation is man domination

SATURDAY JULY 27TH, 2013

Today is the night of 18th Ramadhan
and i feeling like writing.
because I know that no one is reading, i just going to keep writing it as part of my life journal.

In past few month,
i have been thinking..whats more to think and to strive for when you already feel.urm..enough.
A job as IT person at PROTON with 2k ++ salary a month.
A loyal companion, Eriyka.
A comfy bed to sleep.
An adequate space to perform your prayer in the rented room.

Is there anymore to earn?

I see myself as a moderate person.
Nothing to much, yet not to less.

Is there anymore to gain?
YES.
I have. urm.
I wrote down a list of things i want to instill in my life..
1) wake up before subuh
2) have regular exercise
3) eat when you feel hungry
4) stop before kenyang
5) always have to - do - list
6) JAGA AURAT BETWEEN GIRLS!
7) enhance daily routine with Solat Sunat Dhuha + Solat Sunat Tahajud
8) Add knowledge of fadhu ain and fardhu kifayah
9) Read a page of Al-Quran daily
10) Be an apprentice of Pengurus Jenazah.


With my salary of 2K++,
I divide it into 4 portions. 500-500-500-500
I used 500 for petrol and pay bills.
another 500 for my baby sister fees + daily stock.
another 200 for family. Well, not much to give since all my brothers are working.
I've left with 5++.00 every month.

Ya Allah..
I feel so blessed.

This Part of My Life its called- "Being Genuinely Sad"

This is the first time i feel very sad for a stranger.
 well, not stranger, a person that I not that close but I look up to him as,
A teacher,
A mentor,
A big brother.
hurm. maybe because of that brotherly and mentorly act that make feel this way.
Anyway, I sad because he's going to leave soon.
very soon.

I dont know why Im being so sad. Not ready  yet to not have him away.
It make my half day gloomy.

Throughout our life, my life to be specific,
I always have goodbyes.
Many, many goodbyes.
Family..hostel..friends at school, maktab and university.

I thought as Im getting older,
i wont be sad anymore every time a goodbye comes around.
But, turn out the other way around.
Maybe because a goodbye that I felt is even more stronger as we not going to see each other
or seek wisdom
or just have a nice cup of coffee together again because the older you are,
the more futher away we apart; works, own families that bound by time constraint.


what make people want to talk each other, share stories or more specifically,
what make people miss each other?
that fluttery, joy, comfort feeling they give us, maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe I should just googled.

Its called - Being a child.

Asalamualaikum.

I starting a new book called "Life Long Learning".

its an empty and blank note book with no lines and made from recycled paper, which made it more expensive than other normal note book.

I jotted down every details of troubleshooting that i had encountered so far, or other solve it.

and if I am late.

everyday before I head home, I go through the pages, hoping if the error surface again, I'm able to resolve it without hesitation.

Being helpless and have the eager to solve it but no confident to do it.. I'm hesitating..

" I think this is how to do it, hurrmm, but I'm not sure....", "What if it is wrong and line stop??"

Maybe it is because I still lack of knowledge. still not knowing overall process.

But, I do hope someday, they will entrust me to do it.

Even though they still think i don't have the ability to do it, at least let me give it a try.

One wouldn't learn until they get a chance to do so, right?

Maybe I'm just too hasten to do things. 

But, its that part of my job too,  to solve it, right?

not just to sit and watch.

Im almost a year in this but still taken as freshie and not know so well. ( * well, it is true, though. my bad)

Every time i talk about this to my brother, he said the same.. " You too early, let them do it, let them solve it..you still do not know yet"

How am I to know if they don't let me do it??

I feel like a kid who want to be a grown up. Want to know more and DO more.

Only time will tell.

For time being, I'm try to not let emotions come by or take any heart feeling when someone else solve it.

Im trying. 

Menyusahkan Orang

Asalamualaikum.

*Nak mengomel dan memuhasabah diri seketika.-(walaupun tiada yang akan baca)*

Hurm,
masuk hari ini genaplah hampir 8 bulan aku kerja di PROTON Shah Alam sebagai
Exec Manufacturing Solution, GICT.

Being an IT person in Manufacturing Solution is exposed to direct  and continous user demand.
Manufacturing is a factory enviroment where things moves fast and high in risk.
every decision making is crucial where by it involve the production line.

Hurm,
tapi, setelah hampir 8 bulan, banyak dah perkara dan troubleshooting dah terjadi.
Namun, aku merasakan aku hanya bagai Rafflesia. Tumbuhan parasit.
OTL .. nampak tak mcm orang tengah kecewa?

Ya, tugas ku untuk menjaga sistem IT di production and memastikan kelangsungannya agar production kekal licin dan bergaya.

Dan, acapkali juga, pasti ada error di sana sini.
Error tersebut, sampai kepadaku. Namun, tidak boleh dan tidak dapat aku selesaikan. -.-
OTL OTL OTZ  .. nampak tak yang terakhir tu dia bend kaki dia? aku sangat frust.

hurm. hurm.
bagi aku 8 bulan bukanlah masa yang pendek. Panjang. Aku pun tidak selalu memohon tinggal (aka cuti) . hurm
hurrrm.
kenapa kah aku tidak boleh lagi  untuk selesaikannya?
hurm..bukan apa.. menyusahkan orang lain sebab error tu, pasti kena solvekan.
dan aku tak mampu lagi!
ayok...
last2 mesti senior aku yang kena solvekan...................................
hurm. dah banyak menyusahkan mereka.
"Tolong lah ainun...... bare in mind....learn from mistake.........................why you never learn???"


"Ya Allah..aku pohon kecergasan akal dan wisdom yang tinggi.."

bila la nak jadi Orkid......................

Best Regards,
Ainun

NEARING A NEW BEGINNING , ENDING AN END, HOPEFULLY NOT.

im at pusat komersial section 7 right now, feeling the tense of Hazie studying for her test tomorrow.
The fell down of calculator broke the silent occasionally.
Its the third time already.
(showing protest for a new and larger, bigger study table?)

I will start a new beginning as an Executive of GICT PROTON this monday , 16 April 2012.
finally the moment of destined destiny which need to be fulfill after much awaited 3.5 years, arrives.

I don't know what to expect.
more responsible. Out of comfort zone.
more real life challenges.
i guess.

just have to wait and see.

what it feels like to upgrade you're status from student to working?
no longer need to put -"Student" at the occupation section.

now, Executive of GICT at PROTON HOLDINGS.

hurm.

(-_-)

i will go to work, send off to work by my brother early in the morning and fetch off by him, or others on tuesday and thursday.

earning my own salary.
which i have plenty of plan on how to spend it.


"will i still be in my confort zone?"- is that what i worried about?
maybe what is Practical Training is all about...

I've been doing lots of thinking.
bout my place to stay.now at hazie's..but she will be in shah alam until July.
then?
so, i need to get my driving license so very much fast..means before july and a car, hopefully.
i cant leeching of my brother and others, forever. right?

then, on june, I have to think bout moving out coz my rent contract is just until june.

Im thinking of meeting up the friends that have been everywhere in shah alam, subang, PJ..
around selangor.

chatching up.
to keep the feeling of warm friendship.

saidatul jokingly ask me to seek around gorgeous guys..find her a groom.
hahahah.
(your mission is good as done!)

what else?
is there anything i need to think about other than that?
now that im working... i need to think bout.
hurm.
let put it a rest for a while.
maybe not now.
eventhough im 23 now.

--------------------------------------------------

have a lot to think.
feels like writing all the time.

SIMPLE JOKE CAN MAKE YOU SMILE~!

I scroll at hajar blog today and found this amusing little joke.

" macam na nk bagi nyamuk tak masuk rumah?"
"bawak masuk selipar dalam rumah, nanti nyamuk ingat tadak orang dalam rumah~"

hikhik~
well...its a laughing stock for me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
few days have been tough for me emotionally.
I just don't get in.

I stand my ground that for every mistake that happened,
there must be misconduct or misunderstood from both party.
there are no JUST ONE PARTY have to take all the blame.

________________________________________________________

people are too attached with emotion.
Just burst with emotion without regarding other emotion than their own.
Lack of EQ I guess.
the way of delivery the emotion affect other people feeling.
make sure the right feeling is achieved and its mutual.

Im complaining actually right now.
hurm.
i feel its a bit unfair for being yelled at and have to swallow all the anger that have been thrown at you.
Its a bit. urm. unprofessional?


anyway. Its 2nd time from same person.
for the same misunderstanding.
for the same reason.
which i already cleared.
and each time "throwing tantrum" happened, i was left dumb folded and was not given chance to speak up or explain.


"its because "the thrower" hang up after gauging out the anger on me. with bonus and side anger from other thing.

"But-"
bla..bla...
"No-"
bla..bla...
"I-"
bla..bla...
-hang up-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this anger is result of underachieve expectation or misinformation.
BUT!!!
do react like you just SNAPPED!
why don't you clear up all the misunderstood rather than bursting with anger, yelling than hang up!
(I almost about to SNAP! too.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well,
you --the thrower
you just lost my respect , trust of emotion control or any kind of trust and professionalism towards you.
I don't react to insult.
only to misunderstood which need to be clear up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

humph.
i think this also make me realized,
im lack in follow up and clearing things up.
aah.
hurm.
reflect on your action.. ( muhasabah diri..)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

signing off.

p/s: i have to deal with her for the rest of 3.5 years to come.
may patient and virtue and calmness stay by my side.
Amin,,