Monday, January 21, 2013

This Part of My Life its called- "Being Genuinely Sad"

This is the first time i feel very sad for a stranger.
 well, not stranger, a person that I not that close but I look up to him as,
A teacher,
A mentor,
A big brother.
hurm. maybe because of that brotherly and mentorly act that make feel this way.
Anyway, I sad because he's going to leave soon.
very soon.

I dont know why Im being so sad. Not ready  yet to not have him away.
It make my half day gloomy.

Throughout our life, my life to be specific,
I always have goodbyes.
Many, many goodbyes.
Family..hostel..friends at school, maktab and university.

I thought as Im getting older,
i wont be sad anymore every time a goodbye comes around.
But, turn out the other way around.
Maybe because a goodbye that I felt is even more stronger as we not going to see each other
or seek wisdom
or just have a nice cup of coffee together again because the older you are,
the more futher away we apart; works, own families that bound by time constraint.

what make people want to talk each other, share stories or more specifically,
what make people miss each other?
that fluttery, joy, comfort feeling they give us, maybe.


Maybe I should just googled.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Its called - Being a child.

I starting a new book called "Life Long Learning".
its an empty and blank note book with no lines and made from recycled paper, which made it more expensive than other normal note book.

I jotted down every details of troubleshooting that i had encountered so far, or other solve it.
and if I am late.
everyday before I head home, I go through the pages, hoping if the error surface again, I'm able to resolve it without hesitation.

Being helpless and have the eager to solve it but no confident to do it.. I'm hesitating..
" I think this is how to do it, hurrmm, but I'm not sure....", "What if it is wrong and line stop??"
Maybe it is because I still lack of knowledge. still not knowing overall process.

But, I do hope someday, they will entrust me to do it.
Even though they still think i don't have the ability to do it, at least let me give it a try.
One wouldn't learn until they get a chance to do so, right?

Maybe I'm just too hasten to do things. 
But, its that part of my job too,  to solve it, right?
not just to sit and watch.
Im almost a year in this but still taken as freshie and not know so well. ( * well, it is true, though. my bad)

Every time i talk about this to my brother, he said the same.. " You too early, let them do it, let them solve still do not know yet"
How am I to know if they don't let me do it??

I feel like a kid who want to be a grown up. Want to know more and DO more.
Only time will tell.
For time being, I'm try to not let emotions come by or take any heart feeling when someone else solve it.
Im trying.