Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Zohor Rant 2015.12.15

Ever been in position where you already lying in your bed but still cannot shut down?
I always do.
The brain activities just wont stop. *sigh*

Thinking on your late friends..
Your mistakes..
Your ideas..

Things you realise now that you dislike..
Future plannings..

Everything just keep appearing.

You just think about one thing.
Then it linked to another and another.
Then you realized its already 3 am when you start feeling drowsy.

Hmm.
Just like right now.
I suppose to take a nap 1~2pm.
But my brain was thinking about a friend that i did her wrong.
Even thinking of sending her sorry card.
Then try to forget it by playing my nephew video. He just few days old.
I thought by seeing that video will calm me down and make me sleepy.
But other things kick in.
Since he in KB now,
I was reminisence back on KB's memories and a certain someone which I quite fancy.
Hmm.
Then try to shudder it by writing this blog.
I feel sleepy now.
But already 1:55pm.
*sigh*
5 mins left.
There goes my nap.
Oh well.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Rant on Daily Life 2015 12 05

asalamualaikum.

Yesterday in my life history, I went back from work at 6am, on Saturday after clock in at 8am, Friday.
It was because of no data entry at Body Machining from PTOS. (the system I've been incharge of).
So, yea.

It start with I was staying up late at the office after work. Met up with night shift and they informed that the data that was supposed to receiv at 4.++pm on Friday, do not received at Body up until 9pm saturday.
Being there , in the office, I feel obligate to assist the situation and suggest the Body Machine to have a reboot their system, hoping that way, it will received our data.
It was a final call as we did many data resend but still no data at the Body machine.

To our dismay, the body app which controls the machining failed to up after boot.
It was 2:am in the morning.
I called every person who know about the Body Machine.
But all in vain as the only expert on the machine is a Korean guy who already went back to Korea.
so, yea.
Doomed.
We endlessly try to boot again up until the 5th time, we gave up.
I communicated with my boss through whatsapp and we successfully insert the pending data after try and error with few apps at the desktop.
but the Body app still fails to visible itself.
it was 4:32am.
How time flies when in critical moments.

I heard stories of one of our managers have a daughter who suddenly collapse and do not breath.
He immediately do CPR for about 20 minutes non stop. Having done that,  he said it was the most life terrifying and short moments in his life. He did not realized he been doing CPR for 20 minutes.
Her daughter is alright then by the CPR but detected a far more life threatening condition and had passed away few months after.
Innalillah..

So the Plant Maintenance try to work the robots without the Body Apps and it successful.
The PM didn't know at the first place that the robot could move without the Body App.
And Body run as per normal at 5am , without the Body App, running.
so yea.
we learnt 2 things today:-
How to insert pending data to Body App.
the Robot can operate as per normal without the Body App.

Few days back, I was complaining and feel upset on how my position as IT exec in the factory.
Which I felt like having no growth and future career development as what I doing now is a routine and nothing changes for the pass 3 and a half years,
3 and half years is a very long time.
If having a kid, the kid could run already.

But then, this Body incident happened.
I felt like a change.
an eye opener.
Yes, I was terrified that the apps do not appear after boot up.
My heart skip a beat.
My hands were shaking.
I become numb and cold.
I was thinking..." Ya Allah..habis la. Macam mana nak jalan ni. Nanti output tadak. Nak kena mengadap lagi."
that was 2am thoughts.
Then, after relentlessly trying to search for some clues on the PC, called every person related to the Body apps and reboot many time, I felt like the butterflies had flew away,
I do feel regret on suggesting the reboot. But, things happens and we have done our best to resolve it.

And the part where I thought to myself.."habis la nak kena menjawab.." shouldnt be the said in the first place.
Why should I be afraid of the management?
I should remain on objective of assisting the body production and afraid on how body going to met their output target.
Yes, I do have to face the management on this Monday, to present on this issue.
But I shouldn't be afraid or having cold feet.
We do what we thought best and if they were the same spot as our, they would highly likely to do the same.
problems happens everyday and it does not stays there forever.
It will go away eventually.

So, this is the change of 3.5 years.
I do not felt so jumpy when encounter with issues or trouble.
Interact with many level of person.
felt high obligation to the assist and giving my best even if is not in my job scope.
I will not said " Ini bukan masalah saya" or " takut nak present morning market @ orang atas".

After so long, I found my passion.
I love helping people.
I love helping resolved other people's problem.
having doing that, it give me self-satisfaction.

But, yes, It does take a toll on me.
I sleep less than usual.
Have to pick up the phone occasionally for night shift.
Stay up late to study on the root cause or new enhancement.
Or do coding after work because you cannot cramp all task from 8am to 530pm because there always issue and troubleshooting.
And to get in the mood and tasks switching are real challenging.
My meal is barely nutritious and out of sync.
Having occasional headache and goes away in time.
My life in a mess right now as I neglected to fold the clothes and other household chores.
I felt tired all the time.

I read about when your life is not barakah or you are far away from Allah, you will be consumed by endless busyness of worldly things.
I do felt that way.
Hmm.... it just seems endless as I browsed through my pending tasks.
I need to repent and get my ducks in line.

I seek forgiveness from You..Ya Allah..
You gave me this to answer my doubt and uneasiness.
Hmm..
I shall do better in the future and hopefully able to see the light in darkest moment.
Amin.

























Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Berkisar tentang alam pekerjaan yang sudah menghampiri 4 tahun.

Melihat kepada coretan coretan yang terdahulu, aku selalu meluahkan perkara seperti " masih dianggap setahun jagung", "mahu buat lebih", "asyik buat kesilapan yang sama".

Kemudian hal hal ini bertukar menjadi..
"Tidak diberi peluang"
"User lebih prefer orang lain.."

Dan sekarang,
"Tiada perubahan."
"Tiada career growth"
"Semua menjadi rutin.'


Ada pernah baca..
Jika kita tidak puas hati, bermakna kita mahukan sesuatu perubahan.

Aku tergerak untuk nukilkan hal ni bila aku perasan yang aku sangat sedih , terkejut bercampur tak percaya bila di-rate semuanya 3 untuk semua keupayaan ku.
Cth keupayaan- usahasama, pelanggan diutamakan,fokus pelanggan,latihan dan development.
Di mana yang aku kurang?
Di mana yang aku lebih?
Aku sentiasa cuba pahamkan user akan sesuatu root cause isu yang berlaku walaupun user tersebut bukanlah orang IT.
Memberi latihan kepada user tentang sesuatu antaramuka baru.
Memberi initiatif baru kepada user agak proses kerja bertambah baik.
Mengekalkan hubungan baik dengan user.
Mampu mengadakan satu kerjasama dari team lain.

Bagi aku,
"Semua akan mati jika tiada perkembangan."

Matlamat aku sekarang untuk menjadi lebih baik. Berkembang.
"Future growth".

Aku merasakan tiada perubahan ketara dalam hidup aku sepanjang 4 tahun ni.
Mari lihat:-
Masih dianggap kanak-kanak
Tidak dianggap serius
Masih rasa ditindas / underrated.

Hmm.
Aku cuba optimis, positif.
"Kalau semua 3, jadi semua itu adalah kekuatanku. Tiada yang lemah!jadi, improve semua competency!"
-realiti menendang. "Takkan xdak kelemahan. Jangan tipu diri sendiri.Realistik sikit...."

*rate 3/5.
1-poor
2-moderate
3-good
4:excellent
5:superb. (Aku tipu. Aku lupa 5 apa dia.)

Masih cuba positif.
Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya.

Dalam kehidupan aku, banyak yang aku dah belajar dan masih belajar.
Aku adalah seorang yang kuat tanya hingga sedungu-dungu soalan.
Ada yang marah? Ya.
Ada yang buat muka dan malas nak jawab? Ya.
Ada yang ketawakan aku balik? Ya.

Bagi aku, berada di posisi dan situasi demikian,kebanyakan nya berpunca dari:-
Mesti ada benda @ sebahagian maklumat yang dia tahu dan aku tak tahu tapi dia anggap aku dah tahu.

Contoh aku tanya pasal C.
Dia anggap aku dah tahu pasal A dan B.
Pehe dok?
Dakpe la.

Sekiranya aku pula berada di tempat si penjawab, aku sedaya upaya jawab ja dari A sampai Z. Jika perlu sedikit demo atau penulisan, aku teruskan saja. Sampai si penanya faham.
Aku tahu rasanya berada di tempat itu.

Apapun, setelah seminggu bermain di fikiran dengan anggapan di-rate dengan tidak setimpal dan berada dalam keadaan tidak puas hati, aku lupakan saja perasaan itu dan teruskan hidup.
Dunia saja ini.
Jika merasakan itu sahaja keupayaan ku, terpulang.
Aku jalankan tugas dengan niat, inilah amanahku dan tanggungjawabku.
Hasil dari pekerjaan ini aku beri kepada keluargaku.
Bukan semata mata untuk mendapatkan rate yang tinggi.
Aku akan cuba tunaikan yang terbaik untuk jalankan tanggungjawab.
inshaAllah.
Amin.




Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Asalamualaikum.
haa..haha~

dah hidup kembali blog ni.
tudia aih!

selepas lama bertungkus lumus buat recovery semula login id dan password untuk akaun blogspot ini,maka terhiduplah semula Little Words Of Mine.
Tajuk nak orang putih sangat. keke

Same old , same old.

Sama sahaja kali ini punya tujuan.
Blog ini untuk mencatat perjalanan hidup yang selalu tak tercatat kat diari walaupun dah bersepah buku kosong beli konon nak buat jurnal.
Moga dengan terhidupnya blog ini, coretan perjalanan akan sentiasa dikemaskini. 
Amin,
Senang sekarang kalau kat alam maya. 
buka ja tepong. ha. solosai.


Bos swuh lena kat group Whatsapp.
OK. 
Sambung esok. InshaAllah.

Wasalam.




AKU BUKAN APA...~

ENTRY DATE : 8 MARCH 2011


hurm.
setelah lama tak update blog.
diari sendiri pun tak tulis dah.
sibuk kah?
* oh~ sibuk dunia yang tak pernah habis......................

Duduk di tanjung malim ni..
aku rasa banyak kelebihannya..
tempat ini..luas..tenang..
punya banyak kelebihan.
mungkin jika eriyka bersama ku..boleh lagi aku explore lagi apakah ketenangan yang belum tersingkap.
tapi, tak mengapa..
eriyka lebih berguna di sana...

seperti kawasan-kawasan yang biasa ku mastautin..
Pendang, Kedah.. (2 tahun)
Arau, Perlis... (1 tahun)
kini Tanjung Malim, Perak.
sangat berbeza dengan Skudai, Johor ( 3 tahun)
keadaan yang aku sifatkan.. hurm. Tenang. Mungkin.
di mana, jauh dari dunia hiburan.
Karaoke...shoppping....keluar malam..dan teman-teman ronggeng.
Ronggeng sekali sekala tak pa lah..~ =)


Cuma..
kurang interaksi dengan manusia.
Bila duduk sini..boleh kira berapa patah perkataan yang dituturkan..

Sepotong ayat dari buku yang aku baca,Diam itu Emas nukilan Abd Rahman Abd Majed
Terbitan Darul Nu'man.

Luqman Al Hakim berkata" bijaksana dalam mengeluarkan perkataan, tetapi sedikit sekali yang sanggup melaksanakannya.Menjaga lidah dengan diam adalah lebih selamat daripada memilih perkataan yang akan diucapkan"

Rasuluulah S.A.W pernah bersabda..
Barangsiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan HAri Akhirat, hendaklah berkata benar atau diam.
( riwayat Bukhari)

Manakala Imam Ali RA berkata..
"sedikit bicara adalah sebuah hikmah yang besar.Oleh itu, kita hendaklah banyak diam, kerana diam adalah satu ketenangan hidup dan satu faktor yang dapat meringankan dosa."

Bukanlah nak suruh kalian diam ja..orang cakap..RIGID..PASIF..
cuma nak mengingatkan diri dan kalian bahawa kalu tak perlu, tak payah la cakap~
hehe

Benda biasa yang aku pernah dengar adalah, bila orang tak banyak cakap ini, mesti kena ckp..
SOMBONG.

Sebagaimana firman Allah Ayat Al- Israa' Ayat 37
"Dan janganlah engkau berjalan di bumi dengan berlagak sombong, kerana sesungguhnya engkau tidak akan dapat menembusi bumi dan engkau tidak akan dapat menyamai setinggi gunung- ganang"

ha.. jangan lah bersikap sombong..kamu tu bukan boleh dapat tembus bumi pun..apatah lagi nk sama tinggi dengan gunung.





BEING 22 YEARS OLD...

Entry Date : 22 August 2011

22 years old ..
for me..
its not, too grow up or too child.
kind of in the middle.

But, look around you.
You grow up already.
Earn your own money.
stand your own two feet.
And, having more control of your emotion.




KEMALANGAN DAN LAIN-LAIN

Entry date : 25th Sept 2011

Tanggal 27hb Ogos.. bersamaan birthday orang2 tertentu..27 ramadhan ..
aku kemalangan di depan Eastern Hotel ..hughway depan Queensbay Mall tu..7. 30 am ++
odw nak ke jeti.

Anyway.Masuk hospital. Diberi ubat pelali untuk pengsankan aku. doktor mahu betulkan tangan aku. Nak tarik tulang ynag patah tu katanya.


Then, simen tgn kanan. pkul 10 mlm macam tu ble balik umah.
boleh jalan, tapi terinjut-injut, ankle kanan terseliuh. luka +lebam sikit sepanjang kaki kanan.

3 hari lagi nak Aidilfitri. baju belum beli. Pi la shopping raya di BJ. Beli blouse ja. size 48. satgi tangan gedabak ni tak muat. 1st time raya pakai seluar.
Mula-mula susah gak, nak buat semua benda pkai sebelah tgn. nak mkn, nk kupas kulit pisang, makan ayam , buah mata kucing, nak bukak botok deodrant, bedak..
tambah bab pemakaian. hurm.
(ok, move on..)

mujurlah rendang dagingnya kecil-kecil dan ketupat sudah dipotong-potong. cedok masuk pinggan lalu sumbat dlm mulut~ Alhamdulillah.
nikmat Raya masih dapat dirasai...

tgn aku sentiasa dalam keadaan kebas. Aku practice gengam, buka..gengam, buka ja jari-jari aku. sampai dia boleh straight balik.. dan kebas-kebas tu hilang.
8hb sept adalah 1st check up lepas xcident. lama kan? 13 hari kemudian..

Malangya, hasil dari check up tu ckp, tulang aku x join lagi. kena operate. Hurm.
hancur harapan aku nak masuk sem 12hb sept nanti.

"kalu operate, bila baik?"
"bila nk operate?"

asalnya Doktor cakap nak bawak masuk plat.
**haha.. che bee cakap jadi robocop la lepas ni..**
ok. fine.
masuk plat.
so, aku dijadualkan masuk plat pada 13hb sept dan kena masuk hospital 12hb sept.
**orang lain masuk sem, aku masuk hospital.**
13hb, pagi, dalam jam 11 pagi..aku masuk bilik bedah.. dibagi pengsan macam dalam TV tu..
**sikit-sikit mata kau pejam, pejam,,pastu terus gelap dan kau tak sedar pun bila kau pengsan**
sedar-sedar ja,"dik, dik.. operation dah hbis"nurse ckp..
air mata aku automatik mengalir.
sakitnya~ Ya Allah.
aku rasa kesan jahitan pembedahan tu.
aku gigit hujung selimut, tahan sakit.
air mata belum berhenti.
tangan aku bersimen kembali.

kembali ke wad aku.
aku ttdo. . . . . . . .
esok pagi, Doktor buat check up, tengok jari-jari aku boleh gerak ke tak.
Dia cakap x bawak masuk plat, tapi wayar 2K sebab tulang yang patah tu terlalu hancur and distal.
*hancur pulak dah..*
15hb aku dibenarkan pulang. sakit tu mulai kebah setelah di bius banyak painkiller.
3x sehari aku disuntik painkiller dan antibiotik.
tangan kiri aku ada tanda-tanda lebam kesan suntik.
sakit suntik tu, sakit la. tp, tak sakit sgt pun. kecik2 ja.
Dapat MC sampai 29 sept.

Kembali meniti hari-hari dengan berfungsikan 3 stokes- 2 kaki dan satu tangan.
Simen baru ni berat dari yang pertama..
lagi kukuh, keras dan tebal.
mula- mula aku pening duk ampu tgn ni even guna armsling.. tak boleh banyak berjalan..berat.
Lama kelamaan, dah biasa..

Kawan-kawan di UTM bagi information tentang kelas, lecturer, projek, PSMMM~~! =.='
terima kasih semua..
menyebabkan aku tak senang duduk di rumah. mahu kembali pulun belajar dan buat Projek Sarjana Muda aku..
**Dayang nak tengok interfce next week..**
Lebih terharu bila aku luahkn keinginan aku ni kat Anosa, dia cakap..
"balik la cni, meh kitaorang jaga kau."
kalu tangan aku tak bersimen dah lama aku balik..
kehidupan di kolej akan terbantut. kolej lain dari rumah...




















Entry: 18 July 2012

Assalamualaikum.
lama sudah tidak menulis.

Ramadhan is just around the corner.
So I wish all Muslims -- HAPPY FASTING AND COLLECT ALL THE GOODNESS~!--

So, back to my life journal.
So yesterday was the aniversary for 3rd month im working, now.
As an executive. IT.

Its been ups and down been a working person.
The environment.
The people.
The attitude.
The right word.
the right tone.
the right answer.
Grasping the right skill.
Be in the right time.

hurm.
its been tough.
so far, no crying. huhu
Emotionally hurt, yes.

"biasala.. hati perempuan. ~"

my workstation is man domination







SATURDAY JULY 27TH, 2013

Today is the night of 18th Ramadhan
and i feeling like writing.
because I know that no one is reading, i just going to keep writing it as part of my life journal.

In past few month,
i have been thinking..whats more to think and to strive for when you already feel.urm..enough.
A job as IT person at PROTON with 2k ++ salary a month.
A loyal companion, Eriyka.
A comfy bed to sleep.
An adequate space to perform your prayer in the rented room.

Is there anymore to earn?

I see myself as a moderate person.
Nothing to much, yet not to less.

Is there anymore to gain?
YES.
I have. urm.
I wrote down a list of things i want to instill in my life..
1) wake up before subuh
2) have regular exercise
3) eat when you feel hungry
4) stop before kenyang
5) always have to - do - list
6) JAGA AURAT BETWEEN GIRLS!
7) enhance daily routine with Solat Sunat Dhuha + Solat Sunat Tahajud
8) Add knowledge of fadhu ain and fardhu kifayah
9) Read a page of Al-Quran daily
10) Be an apprentice of Pengurus Jenazah.


With my salary of 2K++,
I divide it into 4 portions. 500-500-500-500
I used 500 for petrol and pay bills.
another 500 for my baby sister fees + daily stock.
another 200 for family. Well, not much to give since all my brothers are working.
I've left with 5++.00 every month.

Ya Allah..
I feel so blessed.