Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Zohor Rant 2015.12.15

Ever been in position where you already lying in your bed but still cannot shut down?
I always do.
The brain activities just wont stop. *sigh*

Thinking on your late friends..
Your mistakes..
Your ideas..

Things you realise now that you dislike..
Future plannings..

Everything just keep appearing.

You just think about one thing.
Then it linked to another and another.
Then you realized its already 3 am when you start feeling drowsy.

Just like right now.
I suppose to take a nap 1~2pm.
But my brain was thinking about a friend that i did her wrong.
Even thinking of sending her sorry card.
Then try to forget it by playing my nephew video. He just few days old.
I thought by seeing that video will calm me down and make me sleepy.
But other things kick in.
Since he in KB now,
I was reminisence back on KB's memories and a certain someone which I quite fancy.
Then try to shudder it by writing this blog.
I feel sleepy now.
But already 1:55pm.
5 mins left.
There goes my nap.
Oh well.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Rant on Daily Life 2015 12 05


Yesterday in my life history, I went back from work at 6am, on Saturday after clock in at 8am, Friday.
It was because of no data entry at Body Machining from PTOS. (the system I've been incharge of).
So, yea.

It start with I was staying up late at the office after work. Met up with night shift and they informed that the data that was supposed to receiv at 4.++pm on Friday, do not received at Body up until 9pm saturday.
Being there , in the office, I feel obligate to assist the situation and suggest the Body Machine to have a reboot their system, hoping that way, it will received our data.
It was a final call as we did many data resend but still no data at the Body machine.

To our dismay, the body app which controls the machining failed to up after boot.
It was 2:am in the morning.
I called every person who know about the Body Machine.
But all in vain as the only expert on the machine is a Korean guy who already went back to Korea.
so, yea.
We endlessly try to boot again up until the 5th time, we gave up.
I communicated with my boss through whatsapp and we successfully insert the pending data after try and error with few apps at the desktop.
but the Body app still fails to visible itself.
it was 4:32am.
How time flies when in critical moments.

I heard stories of one of our managers have a daughter who suddenly collapse and do not breath.
He immediately do CPR for about 20 minutes non stop. Having done that,  he said it was the most life terrifying and short moments in his life. He did not realized he been doing CPR for 20 minutes.
Her daughter is alright then by the CPR but detected a far more life threatening condition and had passed away few months after.

So the Plant Maintenance try to work the robots without the Body Apps and it successful.
The PM didn't know at the first place that the robot could move without the Body App.
And Body run as per normal at 5am , without the Body App, running.
so yea.
we learnt 2 things today:-
How to insert pending data to Body App.
the Robot can operate as per normal without the Body App.

Few days back, I was complaining and feel upset on how my position as IT exec in the factory.
Which I felt like having no growth and future career development as what I doing now is a routine and nothing changes for the pass 3 and a half years,
3 and half years is a very long time.
If having a kid, the kid could run already.

But then, this Body incident happened.
I felt like a change.
an eye opener.
Yes, I was terrified that the apps do not appear after boot up.
My heart skip a beat.
My hands were shaking.
I become numb and cold.
I was thinking..." Ya Allah..habis la. Macam mana nak jalan ni. Nanti output tadak. Nak kena mengadap lagi."
that was 2am thoughts.
Then, after relentlessly trying to search for some clues on the PC, called every person related to the Body apps and reboot many time, I felt like the butterflies had flew away,
I do feel regret on suggesting the reboot. But, things happens and we have done our best to resolve it.

And the part where I thought to myself.."habis la nak kena menjawab.." shouldnt be the said in the first place.
Why should I be afraid of the management?
I should remain on objective of assisting the body production and afraid on how body going to met their output target.
Yes, I do have to face the management on this Monday, to present on this issue.
But I shouldn't be afraid or having cold feet.
We do what we thought best and if they were the same spot as our, they would highly likely to do the same.
problems happens everyday and it does not stays there forever.
It will go away eventually.

So, this is the change of 3.5 years.
I do not felt so jumpy when encounter with issues or trouble.
Interact with many level of person.
felt high obligation to the assist and giving my best even if is not in my job scope.
I will not said " Ini bukan masalah saya" or " takut nak present morning market @ orang atas".

After so long, I found my passion.
I love helping people.
I love helping resolved other people's problem.
having doing that, it give me self-satisfaction.

But, yes, It does take a toll on me.
I sleep less than usual.
Have to pick up the phone occasionally for night shift.
Stay up late to study on the root cause or new enhancement.
Or do coding after work because you cannot cramp all task from 8am to 530pm because there always issue and troubleshooting.
And to get in the mood and tasks switching are real challenging.
My meal is barely nutritious and out of sync.
Having occasional headache and goes away in time.
My life in a mess right now as I neglected to fold the clothes and other household chores.
I felt tired all the time.

I read about when your life is not barakah or you are far away from Allah, you will be consumed by endless busyness of worldly things.
I do felt that way.
Hmm.... it just seems endless as I browsed through my pending tasks.
I need to repent and get my ducks in line.

I seek forgiveness from You..Ya Allah..
You gave me this to answer my doubt and uneasiness.
I shall do better in the future and hopefully able to see the light in darkest moment.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Berkisar tentang alam pekerjaan yang sudah menghampiri 4 tahun.

Melihat kepada coretan coretan yang terdahulu, aku selalu meluahkan perkara seperti " masih dianggap setahun jagung", "mahu buat lebih", "asyik buat kesilapan yang sama".

Kemudian hal hal ini bertukar menjadi..
"Tidak diberi peluang"
"User lebih prefer orang lain.."

Dan sekarang,
"Tiada perubahan."
"Tiada career growth"
"Semua menjadi rutin.'

Ada pernah baca..
Jika kita tidak puas hati, bermakna kita mahukan sesuatu perubahan.

Aku tergerak untuk nukilkan hal ni bila aku perasan yang aku sangat sedih , terkejut bercampur tak percaya bila di-rate semuanya 3 untuk semua keupayaan ku.
Cth keupayaan- usahasama, pelanggan diutamakan,fokus pelanggan,latihan dan development.
Di mana yang aku kurang?
Di mana yang aku lebih?
Aku sentiasa cuba pahamkan user akan sesuatu root cause isu yang berlaku walaupun user tersebut bukanlah orang IT.
Memberi latihan kepada user tentang sesuatu antaramuka baru.
Memberi initiatif baru kepada user agak proses kerja bertambah baik.
Mengekalkan hubungan baik dengan user.
Mampu mengadakan satu kerjasama dari team lain.

Bagi aku,
"Semua akan mati jika tiada perkembangan."

Matlamat aku sekarang untuk menjadi lebih baik. Berkembang.
"Future growth".

Aku merasakan tiada perubahan ketara dalam hidup aku sepanjang 4 tahun ni.
Mari lihat:-
Masih dianggap kanak-kanak
Tidak dianggap serius
Masih rasa ditindas / underrated.

Aku cuba optimis, positif.
"Kalau semua 3, jadi semua itu adalah kekuatanku. Tiada yang lemah!jadi, improve semua competency!"
-realiti menendang. "Takkan xdak kelemahan. Jangan tipu diri sendiri.Realistik sikit...."

*rate 3/5.
5:superb. (Aku tipu. Aku lupa 5 apa dia.)

Masih cuba positif.
Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya.

Dalam kehidupan aku, banyak yang aku dah belajar dan masih belajar.
Aku adalah seorang yang kuat tanya hingga sedungu-dungu soalan.
Ada yang marah? Ya.
Ada yang buat muka dan malas nak jawab? Ya.
Ada yang ketawakan aku balik? Ya.

Bagi aku, berada di posisi dan situasi demikian,kebanyakan nya berpunca dari:-
Mesti ada benda @ sebahagian maklumat yang dia tahu dan aku tak tahu tapi dia anggap aku dah tahu.

Contoh aku tanya pasal C.
Dia anggap aku dah tahu pasal A dan B.
Pehe dok?
Dakpe la.

Sekiranya aku pula berada di tempat si penjawab, aku sedaya upaya jawab ja dari A sampai Z. Jika perlu sedikit demo atau penulisan, aku teruskan saja. Sampai si penanya faham.
Aku tahu rasanya berada di tempat itu.

Apapun, setelah seminggu bermain di fikiran dengan anggapan di-rate dengan tidak setimpal dan berada dalam keadaan tidak puas hati, aku lupakan saja perasaan itu dan teruskan hidup.
Dunia saja ini.
Jika merasakan itu sahaja keupayaan ku, terpulang.
Aku jalankan tugas dengan niat, inilah amanahku dan tanggungjawabku.
Hasil dari pekerjaan ini aku beri kepada keluargaku.
Bukan semata mata untuk mendapatkan rate yang tinggi.
Aku akan cuba tunaikan yang terbaik untuk jalankan tanggungjawab.