my 2nd breaking point.

Today is 27/9/2017.
Few days after 1st Muharam. A month of Hijrah.
A month where Muslim observe the hijrah event during Prophet Muhammad SAW and the bonds between Muhajirin and Ansar.
Typing this,
the song of Maal Hijrah ringing,

"Dari Kota Mekah ke Kota Madinah~

Atas keyakinan dan iman yang teguh, kaum Muhajirin dan Ansar bersatu

Rela berkorban

Harta dan nyawa

Demi menegakkan Islam tercinta~"

It really an educated song.

and full of Hijrah spirit.

It was never an easy decision.

Believe me.

I finally decided to end my career at PROTON Holdings.

The place where the young dream to work.

Its a National PRIDE.

The day I submit my letter was a day before Maal Hijrah.

I was so caught up in works and this notice writing and decision making that I did realized I was passing a great moment in Islam.

That passing evening I was with En Ajad discussing on why I came to this point - the breaking point.

I have a list of things that I have jotted down since after "the 2" incident.

Mostly on team management. 

Poor team management.

Right now, Im at Che Bee Guesthouse.

I will be at Tg Malim until next week and headed back at Shah Alam to finish of my last days.

this is my notice:

NOTICE OF RESIGNATION

Please accept this as my formal notice of resignation from my position as Software Engineer of IT Application Management at PROTON Holding Berhad.

Although I’m required to work 2 months’ notice, I wish to leave after 1 month notice from my letter date instead as I am unable to work my full notice period. I apologies for the short notice and any inconvenience this may cause.

This was not an easy decision to make. The past 5 and a half years has been rewarding both personally and professionally. I’ve enjoyed working with a team that dedicated to deliver a quality product on time and strive to be better in developing system in the ever-changing technology.

I am most grateful for the opportunities for knowledge and growth that PROTON have provided me and take with me the valuable experiences I have gained during my tenure.

I sincerely wish particularly you and our team as well as the rest of the company the very best for the future. If I can be of any help to make the transition any easier, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you and best regards,

____________________________

Siti Ainun Basyirah Binti Mohamad

Yup. It was never easy.

Yes. 

PROTON is already like family for me.

A real family.

But, it really hurts to stay here.

by the bosses.

"We have nothing to justify for you to stay. 

Kami suka ainun stay, dan tak halang kalau nak pergi."

At first it was not so much hurt.

As days goes by, it eating me inside.

Am I really that INVALUABLE to them?

after all those almost 6 years?

I felt like 40 years old woman coz' my days have been spent there than home.

Yup felt like being stabbed twice and twist it.

This what my Sifu said;

"Hmm sampai camtu sekali ke.. nak nangis saya dengar.. sedih le Nun macam tak appreciate as human je.."

and other..

"ainun, blah je lah! sampai teruk sekali mcm tu.."

those coming days, 

tears were really a good friend.

Being undervalue really do something to your morale.

But being receiving it twice? ; it make you into Depression Status : "Teruk."

Yup. I tested that yesterday, and that's the result.

* I paused, tears break*

Allah, do not me stay in this condition for long.....

Ya Allah if this for me,

this sadness is for me, dont let it ruins me..

I beg for your forgiveness and please replace it with something better...

I beg you ya Allah..

this sadness is . really hurts.